lonelyfridge

So, I’m the new admin of an established web forum (2300 or so members). The first order of business is stopping the spam bots.

Of course, there’s a captcha, but, unsurprisingly, it doesn’t work.

Some would say to use a stronger captcha, but I hate captcha, so we’re going to do riddles, which might seem familiar to people who comment on this blog: “What colour is an orange?” (They’re not particularly hard riddles).

This blog uses a plug-in for WordPress called WP-Gatekeeper, developed by CSS virtuoso, Eric Meyer.

We’re going to take this idea, and merge it with our forum software so that all would-be members have to get a stupid riddle or other question correct, or they don’t get a membership.

I’m thinking topical trivia would be good as well, stuff that’s easily found via Google or Wikipedia.

If anyone has any question suggestions, toss them up here. They shouldn’t be formulaic (ie, no math, unless it’s a trick question: “I have one apple and Jane gives me three apples. How many legs do I have?”), or too esoteric.

Pirate Queen: “Actually, mustard is really growing on me.”
Me: “Like a Chia Pet?! Sweet.”

Some of the pictures that I’ve uploaded over the last little while:

Was surfing one of my favourite forums while eating breakfast (it’s like the Times), and happened to read one forum member’s signature that never fails to irritate me:

“WAR HAS NEVER SOLVED ANYTHING, except ending slavery, fascism, communism, Nazism….”

I finally decided to say something about it (on the forum), but here it for posterity:

For starts, I’ll be a pedant and point out that: slavery is still going strong in several places around the world (Sudan, for instance), and in most places ended with laws changing, not a war; that the fascist regimes in South America (and many other places) didn’t end due to war and were much younger than WW2; that communism regimes have never fallen due to war*; and I would argue that Nazism hasn’t, unfortunately, been stamped out (neo-Nazi marches, Synagogue vandalism and arson in Europe, etc).

Actually, that’s mostly what I wanted to say, but there is the larger issue that force of arms cannot stamp out an idea or meme (”-ism”s), unless you kill everyone spreading that idea (and destroy every medium in which the idea is stored).

Slavery in the southern US officially ended following the Civil War, but it was several generations before it ended in effect- it was similar everywhere in the world where slavery was declared illegal around that time.

*To be fair, the Commies got kicked out of Afghanistan. …

I sort of wanted to write more, but I was (and still am) running late.

Set list, jotted down on a napkin, from Guy Davis’s March 25, 2007 show at Bearly’s.

1. Hoochie Coochie Man
2. Payday
3. Driftin’ Blues
4. Limetown
5. Home Cooke Meal
6. What You Doin’
7. (Highway 61) The Loneliest Road I Know
8. The Chocolate Man
9. Shaky Puddin’
10. broke down train? angel? drunk?
11. Railroad Story, followed by break
12. Run Sinner Run
13. Can’t Be Satisfied
14. Grandma Is Dancing
15. Come Back Baby
16. rag, improv?
17. Watch Over Me
18. Saturday Blues
19. Candyman
20. Po’ Boy (Great Long Way From Home)
21. Walkin’ Blues
22. “new one”
23. Let Me Stay A While
24. Blues In The Midnight Hour
25. See That My Grave Is Kept Clean
26. Baby Please Don’t Go
27. Going Down Slow

…and beer. And lots of other booze.

Our team really came together for the end-of-the-summer tournament, we only lost two of the three games, and one lose was really a moral victory (our win wasn’t a moral defeat, either, we cleaned that team’s clock on moral grounds too).

Afterwards, the three non-yellow-bellied-slash-chicken-livered teammates (I count myself among the august members), headed out to the bar (post showers and other cooling/cleaning/relaxing regimes) rather than napping.

The waitress at the bar asked what kind of muscles I wanted and, a bit surprised I said “uh, you know, the black ones, with, uh, meat inside them.”

She very patiently explained that, yes, those were the kind of muscles, but that there were four sauces available, as clearly stated in the menu.

Ye olde alehouse, the Halifax Alehouse, has muscles on special on Sunday night - twice as many as you usually get for $10, which is normally one kilogram, or, in imperial units, “more than one person could eat”.

After several beer and too much seafood, we quickly toured our apartments for fruit and rum, eventually arriving at someone’s blender (”what’s black and white and…”) .

I’d continue but I’ve run out of witty things to say about the evening. I move in two or so days.

So, my pirate lass and I are finally shacking up, for the first time since we were both at the same university. Apparently my current dwelling is a “dank dark hole, a cesspool of guitars”, purportedly unfit for her.

Begrudgingly, I move.

I’ve been contacting various companies and corporations telling them that I’m moving. Being a web application nerd, I shun human conta— er like to check out other web applications, so I always take a stab at using them. I probably shouldn’t expect a joyous fête of usability, but it is 2007 (era of “Web 2.0″), so I get excited.

Canada Post had to make sure I was the real me, so quizzed me on my credit history, but first warned me some questions might be “simulated” (er, what?). I failed. Into the post office.

Last time I moved, I went to change my billing address with Rogers, online. I filled in my address and clicked “submit”. It told me I hadn’t entered my province or postal code. Turns out those fields aren’t on the form. OK.

Two years later:

“Dear Rogers, I can’t change my mailing address online, as I’m moving, don’t be douchebags and tell me I need MSIE.” (this is, perhaps, a paraphrase, the details are the same.)

“Dear Customer, please use Netscape 4.1.6+ or IE 5+, and if you can’t, replay and we’ll mail you your invoice.”

“Dear Rogers, thank you for your boilerplate response that misses my complaint. If I tell Safari to pretend to be IE, it gives me those fields, that means your web developers are idiots. Please inform them of this.” (very little paraphrasing.)

Exhibit A, Safari 2.0.4 (I have version 3 on the MacBook):

Exhibit B, Safari, pretending to be MSIE6 for Windows:

(Firefox gets that without pretending, it’s special)

I figure now that I have those fields, I’d enter my new address and hit submit:

(Same problem in Firefox, not so special after all)

1998 called and it wants its idiotic browser specific broken JavaScript back. —air-quotes— Web 2.0 —air-quotes— is at the door with an axe, you should let it in.

PS: Fuck you, up in Toronto, Rogers: Nova Scotia might not be a “have” province, but we aren’t invalid.

I’m back.

One of our stations is giving away a bunch of stuff tomorrow, including an almost 50 year old hollow body electric guitar - a 1958 Hofner Club 50. I played it a bit at lunchtime and just loved it. Went well with the Muddy Waters I’ve been listening to lately (Folk Singer).

I am frightened by the browser windows and tabs I found open this morning on my laptop: “RRSP savings calculator”, “Registering Domestic Partnerships”, and “Cracking 128-bit wireless keys”. I think some old-fogey nerd invaded my apartment.

Lecherous Muddy Waters songs seem appropriate then.